crazy shit my mom texted me…

CrazyMom:  How do you edit songs for a wedding?

(as if it’s any different when you edit songs for non-wedding occasions…)

me:  With love

(this was actually my smartass hubs..)

(and he was druuunk…)

(and so was i. ha..)

(which she always seems to know telepathically! whatthefuck?!)

CrazyMom:  I hate you now…

me:  ahhh. technically you hate Jim cause he sent you that cause i didn’t know how to answer you…

(i should probably mention that my hubs and i are professional audio people, but i CANNOT burn a cd or “edit songs for a wedding”.. i know, it’s pathetic. shut the fuck up. and stop laughing.)

CrazyMom:  So now you owe me….

CrazyMom:  I want just the choirs to stuck like glue.

(swear to god she sent that…)

me:  is that proper english?

CrazyMom:  I will get you

me:  i LOVE you  (kissy smiley face)

CrazyMom:  Seriously, how do I do it. Can Jim do It

me:  we don’t have the proper resources for that. Honestly look it up online. Children are doing that now. So there must be an easy way to accomplish it..

CrazyMom:  I hate you again…

me:  Awesome.


that was one conversation five days ago… then at 1:56 AM today she sends me this…

(granted usually i am still up at this time, but i had to be at hell, i mean work, fucking early this morning..)

CrazyMom:  I feel 30 again…

(she is 51.)

(a while later)  me:  How come? i feel 60…

(that’s because i was HUNGOVER.)

(oh, and i am 31.)

CrazyMom:  I was babysitting a drunk last night. John. You don’t know him.

(i live 200 miles away.. for the last 13 years.. of course i don’t know him.)

(and she doesn’t hang out with drunks <except me> so these were curious circumstances…)

me:  ah. 20.. i don’t do that anymore unless they are my best friend… but in my 20s it happened a lot…. (winky face)

CrazyMom:  Yea…

(she had me when she was 20… fuck….  ?)

and that was the end of the conversation… (cause i was hungover and trying to fall asleep at work watching SVU.. Thank you, Netflix!)  i am currently trying to pursue a more in-depth explanation of Adventures in Babysitting Drunk John..


Adventures in Babysitting

i was six when this came out.. and i LOVED it; as did you. don’t lie, you liar… and back then i wanted to do this guy…

Keith Coogan aka Brad Anderson the brother

yeah yeah. i’m not proud. i was six! and apparently an early whore… hmm… but now i would WAY rather do this guy…


you fuckers remember Thor?? as a child i knew he was supposed to be hot-ish… but i realize now that i would totally hit that… and the shocker? did anyone (at least near my age to be fair..) realize that Thor was Vincent D’Onofrio?!  (so full disclosure… i would do Vincent today too…especially Detective Goren from Law and Order: CI…)

The Cell.. L&O.. Full Metal Jacket.. Men in Black as the bad guy.. ugh. LOVE him.

but who knew he was so cute back then!?


someone send me his info so i can stalk him..

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